tick tock, tick tock..

I'm getting old.

Okay, not that old, but it's happening. I'm approaching 25 at light speed, and I'm freaking out.

I can remember lying in my bed, looking at the ceiling, sometime shortly after I had turned 23 and thinking "holy shit, in 2 years I'll be 25".. annnd well, THAT'S NOW.

It's bad enough that my metabolism has slowed a bit and it takes a little more to keep in shape, but the worst part is that it's popping up every where.. I pass a tanning place the other day and it says "Student Discount with Student ID!" and in fine print underneath it says "Must be 22 and Under". Well, fuck, I'm a student! I'm a damn good 3.5 GPA Super Hard Science Student, where's my skin cancer discount?! Then I go to the doctors recently and they say

"How old are you?"

"Oh, I'm 24"

"When will you be 25?"

"September."

"Oh great, then you can get your last free 24 and under routine chlamydia test! Perfect."

Right. Perfect, That's just what I said in my head. Just what I totally wanted to hear while lying in stirrups with my lady parts open to exposure.

Modeling casting calls are now geared more towards "18-24 year old women" so now I get to start lying about my age in order to get certain paid shoots. Awesome.

And as an added insult, every time I open facebook, someone has just given birth, gotten engaged/married, graduated, or started a new job in their career. Fuuuuck. Not that I wanna get married or have kids any time soon, but I feel like I might need to start seriously considering it since I'm no spring chicken. I know, I know, I'm not THAT old.. but let me wallow in self pity for a little bit, okay?

I'm just feeling really down on myself this past week. Money is tight (when is it not?), I'm looking for a place to live and coming up empty handed, and worried about how I'm going to afford it.. I just can't seem to catch a break. I love my job, but it hasn't picked up like everyone says it should, and the money isn't cutting it right now. I expected a whole lot more, but all I hear is "it was so different last year". DAMMIT. Why do I always go work at places AFTER they've hit their prime.. I never hear "wow, this is so much better than before". Really sucks.

I need to get a grip. This is ridiculous.